Healthy Boundaries at Work: How to Prevent Burnout and Build Better Workplace Relationships
Episode 44
Do you constantly feel like you're saying yes to everything, carrying too much, and wondering why you're exhausted by the end of the week?
Many high performers struggle with setting limits and end up overwhelmed, stressed, and heading toward burnout without even realizing it. In Episode 44 of The People Success Circle, I sit down with Dana Skaggs to explore why Healthy Boundaries at Work are essential for protecting your energy, improving workplace relationships, and creating long-term success. We discuss practical ways to set boundaries without guilt and how leaders can better support their teams. Read on—or listen in—for practical tips and actionable takeaways you can start using right away.
In this episode of The People Success Circle, I explore how leaders and professionals can prevent burnout and build healthier workplace relationships through stronger boundaries and intentional communication.
I explore why Healthy Boundaries at Work are not about saying “no” to everything, but about learning how to say “yes” to what matters most.
I talk with Dana about why high performers are often especially vulnerable to overwhelm and employee burnout, even when they genuinely love their work.
I discuss practical strategies for setting boundaries at work, including how to communicate limits in a way that is respectful, clear, and productive.
I unpack how personal life and professional life pull from the same energy source—and why both affect our ability to show up fully at work.
I explore how workplace boundaries can strengthen trust, improve communication, and create healthier relationships between leaders, employees, and teams.
I share insights on preventing burnout at work by recognizing overload early, prioritizing effectively, and creating sustainable habits instead of pushing through exhaustion.
I discuss how leaders can create open conversations around workload, priorities, and support before employees reach a breaking point.
🎧 Tune in or keep reading to walk away with practical insights you can apply immediately—for yourself or the people you lead.
🔗 Helpful Links
🌐 Dana Skaggs Website: www.DanaSkaggs.com
🌐 Free Boundary Quiz: www.DanaSkaggs.com/quiz
💼 Dana Skaggs LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dana-skaggs-b73bb487
🌐 Mindy’s website for business consulting: https://www.limerockcareerco.com
🎧 Listen to the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts
Episode 44: Watch or Listen
Key Takeaways From Episode 44
Healthy Boundaries at Work Are About Protecting What Matters Most
One of the biggest mindset shifts from this conversation is understanding that Healthy Boundaries at Work are not about shutting people out or constantly saying “no.” Dana reframed boundaries in a way that really stood out to me: boundaries help us decide what we can say yes to. They create space for the things that matter most instead of spreading ourselves too thin.
As HR leaders and business owners, I think this is an important reminder. When we continuously say yes to everything, we eventually say no to our own energy, focus, and wellbeing without realizing it.
Preventing Burnout Means Playing the Long Game
Dana repeatedly talked about “keeping gas in your tank,” and I loved that visual. Too often, high performers continue pushing themselves because they care deeply about their work. But eventually, constant overextension catches up.
Preventing burnout at work requires us to think beyond today’s deadlines. Sustainable performance comes from pacing ourselves, prioritizing effectively, and recognizing when our workload has moved from challenging to overwhelming.
Your Personal Life and Work Life Pull From the Same Tank
One of the most practical takeaways for me was the reminder that work and personal life do not exist in separate boxes. We all have one energy source, and both areas pull from it every day.
If we're overloaded personally, our work is affected. If we're overwhelmed at work, that stress follows us home. This is why setting boundaries at work and creating healthier personal boundaries matter equally. Looking at both areas honestly can help us identify where energy is being drained.
Communication Builds Better Workplace Boundaries
Strong workplace boundaries do not happen through assumptions. Dana emphasized the importance of having honest conversations with managers and coworkers before overwhelm turns into disengagement or frustration.
For leaders, regular one-on-one conversations create opportunities to ask, What’s on your plate right now? Are priorities still aligned? What support would help? Small conversations today can prevent much larger problems later.
Stop Carrying What Doesn't Belong to You
One of Dana's strongest messages was that we often take ownership of things that are not ours to carry—other people’s emotions, opinions, reactions, or expectations.
As leaders, employees, and team members, it is easy to slip into feeling responsible for everyone around us. But learning where our responsibility starts and stops creates healthier relationships, better decision-making, and less emotional exhaustion.
🎧 Listen to the full episode of The People Success Circle for more practical insights and leadership strategies you can start applying right away.
Read the full transcript
Mindy East:
Dana, thank you so much for joining us today. I’m really excited to learn from you and learn more about boundaries at work.
Dana Skaggs:
Thank you, Mindy, for having me. This is going to be fun.
Mindy East:
It is going to be fun. I’d love to hear the story about how you started unpacking and discovering that boundaries were such important work.
Dana Skaggs:
The answer is really twofold. First, I’m a psychotherapist and have been in private practice for 18 years. I noticed that when clients walked into my office and started pouring out the struggles they were having, my brain naturally divided what they were saying into two areas: what they actually had control over and what did not belong to them.
Most people get those reversed. They don’t acknowledge the agency they have over their own issues, while spending a tremendous amount of time focused on things that don’t belong to them and that they can’t control—other people’s expectations, opinions, disappointments, and emotions.
I worked with this so often that over the years my patients started calling me “The Queen of Boundaries.” It started as a term of endearment and eventually I just decided to own it.
But there’s also a personal side to it. I grew up in a home where my mother struggled with significant mental health issues, and that created a lot of enmeshment within our family. Everything revolved around her emotions and moods.
As the oldest child, I often felt responsible—not only for her emotions, but also for fixing them.
Later, I read the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, and honestly, it felt like someone handed me magic.
I remember thinking:
"Wait… I can actually say no?"
"I’m not responsible for my mother’s behavior?"
"Her emotions are not mine to manage?"
That realization completely changed my perspective.
Then I went into private practice and had the privilege of hearing so many personal and professional stories. The thing I noticed over and over again was how interconnected work and home life really are. How we function at home affects our work performance, and our work performance affects home.
Mindy East:
My sister and I are very close and also very opposite. She’s naturally good at boundaries, and I’ve had to learn them. She’ll say, “That’s not my issue to carry,” and I’d think, “Wait…why am I carrying it then?”
So what kinds of workplace boundary issues did you see most often?
Dana Skaggs:
I remember someone who came into my office on FMLA. I have a huge heart for high performers because I am one.
High performers are smart, passionate, creative people. We attract people and projects like moths to a light bulb.
Without healthy boundaries, that becomes a problem.
This individual had panic attacks every morning before work because he kept saying yes to everything. He didn’t know how to say:
"I’d love to help with that project. Can we reconnect in four weeks? I want to give my current responsibilities my full attention first."
Instead, he kept saying yes until he became completely overwhelmed.
That’s hard for both the individual and the organization. Businesses are then left trying to fill a gap when burnout leads someone to take leave—or quit entirely.
Mindy East:
That resonates with me as an HR leader. I enjoy working hard, and I definitely recognize myself in that high-performer category.
I think in the past we sometimes viewed people saying “I’m overwhelmed” as weakness, but now I see someone setting boundaries as someone protecting themselves while still being a team player.
Dana Skaggs:
Exactly. Healthy boundaries are playing the long game.
Someone can look fantastic for a few weeks or months, but eventually they become overwhelmed, disengaged, and stop communicating.
Sometimes they quietly quit. Sometimes they leave entirely.
Healthy boundaries help you keep gas in your tank so you can keep going.
Mindy East:
So what do you recommend to someone who’s listening and thinking, “This is me. I see myself in everything you're saying.” Where do they even begin?
Dana Skaggs:
First, I would separate your personal life and your work life.
I say that because sometimes in our personal lives we sign up for all kinds of things. High performers want to help and serve people. So we volunteer for the Fall Festival Committee, church projects, school activities, PTA events—everything.
Then suddenly we realize we’re running on empty.
You have one energy tank. Both your personal and work life pull from that same tank. If you're overcommitted in your personal life, you're not going to have much left for work.
So first, look honestly at both areas.
Mindy East:
That resonates with me so much. I used to be the person who hosted everything, and I didn't just want to host—I wanted to be the Pinterest host and make everything perfect.
One of the things I had to learn was that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to do those things, I just didn’t have the energy to do everything at that level.
Dana Skaggs:
Exactly.
And here's another thing: we train people what to expect from us.
Sometimes people arrive in my office and they’ve trained everyone around them to expect that they’ll do everything all the time.
When they finally start setting healthy boundaries, people push back.
Family members might say:
"Why aren't you doing this anymore?"
"What's wrong?"
"Why did you change?"
Coworkers may do the same thing.
I tell people this: pushback is not if, it’s when.
So make your decisions carefully, get feedback from trusted people, and then stand confidently in your decision.
If people become upset because they now have to contribute more or adjust, let them be upset.
Their anger is not yours to manage.
Mindy East:
That makes a lot of sense.
So after people look at personal and work commitments, what comes next?
Dana Skaggs:
Priorities.
You have to decide what matters most.
Maybe you want to volunteer somewhere, but not five places.
Ask yourself:
"Which of these things matters most to me?"
"Which ones align most with my values?"
I use a canoe analogy for this.
Imagine you're sitting in a canoe in the middle of a lake, and inside the canoe are boxes of different sizes and weights.
Those boxes represent your commitments.
The canoe starts sinking lower and lower because there are too many boxes.
At some point, you have to throw some of them out.
The good news is they float.
They’re still there if you need them later.
You can always pull them back into the canoe later when you have capacity again.
Maybe it's a project at work you can’t take on right now. Maybe later, once you've finished other priorities, you can reach out and pull it back in.
But right now, you need the canoe to stay above water.
Mindy East:
I love that analogy.
If the boxes are weighing you down, something has to give.
Let's talk about how people communicate their boundaries once they establish them.
Dana Skaggs:
People have this idea that boundaries mean running around screaming “No!” at everyone.
That’s not boundaries.
Boundaries are deciding what you can say yes to.
I always tell people I help them say no so they can say yes to what matters most.
For example, if someone asks you to take on a project, you can say:
"I love what you're doing and I'd be happy to help. Let's reconnect in four weeks."
You're communicating what you will do.
You're setting a timeframe.
Now if they say:
"No, I need you to do it now."
Then you can explain:
"I have limited capacity right now. If one of my current projects can be delegated elsewhere, then I’d be happy to take this on."
You're being honest and respectful.
You only have so much energy and time.
Mindy East:
I also think boundaries apply to emotional energy at work too.
It's not just workload.
If a coworker is bringing a lot of emotion or stress into conversations, that can become something we're carrying too.
Dana Skaggs:
Exactly.
People’s feelings belong to them.
You don't have to take ownership of someone else's emotions.
You can still be kind.
I often tell people to say something like:
"I've got five minutes and I want to give you my full attention."
You listen, support them, and when five minutes are over, you can say:
"I've got to go, but we can continue later."
If they become upset about that, again, those emotions belong to them.
They are not yours to manage.
Mindy East:
You make such good points and your analogies are really helpful. I know if a leader is listening to this, they might be thinking:
"My team is setting more boundaries, but we still have a lot of work that needs to get done."
What advice would you give to leaders?
Dana Skaggs:
Two things come to mind.
First, when you're hiring someone, it’s really important to communicate expectations clearly.
People need to understand what the job actually requires from the beginning. If there are times where extra effort or flexibility may be needed, communicate that upfront.
That way both sides know whether it’s a good fit.
You're looking for a particular type of employee, and employees are also looking for a particular type of organization.
It’s really about finding the right match.
But life changes too.
Someone might come into a job in one season of life and later find themselves caring for a parent, going through a divorce, raising young children, or dealing with something difficult personally.
That changes capacity.
So I think leaders benefit from checking in with their teams and asking:
"Where are you right now?"
"Who has more capacity?"
"Who needs more support?"
There might be someone with extra bandwidth and someone else whose energy is stretched thin.
Teams can work together creatively when leaders create space for those conversations.
Mindy East:
I think that’s so true.
I also think Gen Z tends to be really good at boundaries and work-life balance.
Dana Skaggs:
They really are.
And that's wonderful.
At the same time, there is still work that has to get done.
So I think leaders can say:
"Okay, I hear you. We want work-life balance and healthy boundaries. So let's all work together and come up with creative ways to get this done efficiently."
Maybe there are new ideas or better systems.
Maybe technology can help.
Maybe there are processes that can be streamlined.
The goal is respecting people’s boundaries while also making sure the work gets done.
Mindy East:
I love that you keep coming back to boundaries helping people stay in the game longer.
Can you say more about that?
Dana Skaggs:
Absolutely.
Without healthy boundaries, we allow people and situations to continually pull from us.
Initially, these people often look amazing.
They’re the people pleasers.
They're trying to keep everyone happy.
Everybody loves them at first.
But eventually they run out.
You only have so much to give.
When I developed my boundaries course, I came up with three words that describe what healthy boundaries create:
Stronger.
Liberated.
Safe.
You become stronger because you become aware of your own agency.
You stop waiting for someone else to tell you your voice matters.
You know it matters.
You become liberated because you're no longer carrying everyone else's emotions and expectations.
Not everyone has to like you.
Not everyone has to agree with you.
And that's okay.
And you feel safe because you're creating your own boundaries instead of waiting for someone else to do it for you.
Mindy East:
You say boundaries aren't barriers—they're actually the key to better relationships.
What do you mean by that?
Dana Skaggs:
People create barriers when they don't feel safe.
Boundaries are different.
For example, I know someone who talks a lot—really a lot.
Because I know I can set a boundary, I can respectfully say:
"I appreciate what you're sharing, but I'm finished listening for now. We can talk more later."
If the person keeps talking, I can walk away.
I don't need to put up a giant wall because I trust myself to set limits.
Boundaries are more like a cell membrane.
A healthy cell pulls in what nourishes it and pushes out what’s toxic.
We need to do the same thing in life.
We need to pull in healthy relationships, rest, joy, and things that fill our tank.
And we need to push out toxic things—whether that’s unhealthy situations, unresolved issues, or conversations that need to happen.
Mindy East:
I love that.
Sometimes people avoid difficult conversations because they're worried about upsetting someone else.
Dana Skaggs:
Exactly.
I call these boomerang issues.
People avoid a difficult conversation and throw the issue out into the field, thinking they’re done with it.
But it comes back.
You see the coworker at the copy machine and suddenly you're irritated all over again.
The resentment keeps building.
Then eventually people load up all those boomerangs and unload them all at once.
Meanwhile the other person is standing there shocked because they had no idea anything was wrong.
Healthy boundaries help you have conversations early instead of building resentment over time.
Your job is simply to communicate respectfully.
You are not responsible for how someone else reacts.
Mindy East:
That really can build stronger relationships because people know where they stand with you.
Well Dana, thank you so much for sharing so much wisdom today. Before we wrap up, tell listeners where they can find you.
Dana Skaggs:
You can visit my website at DanaSkaggs.com where you'll find information on my speaking, coaching, courses, and resources.
If you're wondering whether boundaries may be an issue for you, I also have a free quiz available at DanaSkaggs.com/quiz that gives feedback on different areas of your life.
Mindy East:
I’ll make sure to include your information in the show notes as well.
Thank you so much for joining me today and sharing all of these insights. I know people are going to benefit from this both personally and professionally.
Dana Skaggs:
Thank you so much for having me.
Mindy East:
Thank you for tuning into this week's episode of The People Success Circle. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure you follow the podcast and share it with a coworker or friend who could benefit from learning more about healthy boundaries.
Have a great week, and I’ll see you next time on The People Success Circle Podcast.
