Beyond the Talk: How Better Conversations Transform Teams and Culture
Episode 20
Are your workplace conversations building trust—or quietly breaking it down?
If you’re an HR leader or business owner, you’ve likely wondered how to create space for trust, engagement, and real accountability.
In Episode 20 of The People Success Circle podcast, “Beyond the Talk: How Better Conversations Transform Teams and Culture,” I sit down with executive coach Carissa Gay to explore how intentional dialogue can drive real change.
Listen in or read on to learn how better conversations can boost team performance, strengthen culture, and elevate your leadership.
In Episode 20 of The People Success Circle, I sit down with executive coach and leadership expert Carissa Gay to explore how capacity-building conversations can transform teams, shape workplace culture, and elevate leadership.
Why emotional intelligence in the workplace is essential for building trust and team engagement
How every conversation sends a neurochemical signal that impacts employee safety and performance
The definition of capacity building conversations—and why they matter more than ever
Common barriers leaders face when trying to have meaningful conversations (and how to overcome them)
A simple mindset shift to help leaders balance empathy with accountability
Why strong workplace communication skills are the foundation of transformational leadership
🎧 Tune in to learn how better conversations can lead to better business outcomes.
🔗 Helpful Links
🌐 Mindy’s website for business consulting: https://www.limerockcareerco.com
🎧 Listen to the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts
Episode 20: Watch or Listen
Key Takeaways From Episode 20 with Carissa Gay
Rethink Conversations as the Real Work
As leaders, we often treat conversation like the thing we need to “get through” to get to the work. But what if conversation is the work? Carissa shared how every exchange—big or small—shapes our culture, trust, and results. Shifting our mindset here is powerful: instead of checking boxes, we create space for people to show up fully and think creatively.
Capacity Building Conversations Fuel Engagement
When we lead with trust, curiosity, and authenticity, we trigger safety—not threat—in our employees’ brains. That’s what makes capacity building conversations so impactful. These conversations give people permission to speak freely, take ownership, and think forward—especially during uncertainty.
You Can Build Trust Without Adding Time
One myth we tackled is that building strong workplace communication takes too long. The truth? Connection doesn’t have to be time-consuming—it just needs to be intentional. Asking thoughtful questions like “What’s your perspective?” instead of “When will this be done?” changes the tone entirely.
Empathy and Accountability Can Coexist
Leaders don’t have to choose between being empathetic and driving performance. When we show genuine understanding and stay curious, we help people step out of stress and into ownership. Tactical empathy—acknowledging challenges without excusing performance—creates space for solutions and buy-in.
Transformational Leadership Starts from Within
Leadership isn’t just about managing tasks—it’s about managing ourselves. Transformational leaders are self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and grounded in values. They don’t just give orders—they co-create vision, invite contribution, and build a culture people want to be part of.
Small Shifts Create Big Cultural Change
Culture doesn’t begin with a mission statement—it begins with how we talk to each other. Want to influence company culture? Start by examining your own conversational habits and modeling clarity, respect, and consistency in every interaction.
People First, Profits Follow
If you’re struggling to get leadership buy-in, here’s what I remind my clients: when the people side of the business isn’t working, everything suffers. Sales, service, retention, culture—it’s all connected. When you invest in your people, you build the foundation for long-term success. And it all starts with seeing what’s really going on behind the curtain.
🎧 Want the full story, examples, and action steps?
Listen to the full episode of The People Success Circle for more insights on building a thriving culture that drives results.
Read the full transcript
Mindy:
Welcome to this week's episode of The People Success Circle podcast. I'm joined this week by my friend and fellow business owner, Carissa Gay. Carissa is an expert coach who specializes in capacity building conversations, and that’s something we all need in the workplace. I’m so excited to have you here today, Carissa, and I’d love it if you could just start out by telling us a little bit about your journey and how you came to be focused on leadership.
Carissa:
Mindy, it’s such a delight to be here. I’ve been looking forward to the conversation. My career has always been about people development. I was in nonprofit for years, worked in a tech startup, and was in an academic context for a while. But bottom line for me—it was about how can I help people develop and be leaders. Whether that means they become CEO or not, how can they make a difference in their sphere of influence?
That’s what led me to pursue coaching. I realized that so much information is out there, but what really changes people is the process of developing their own vision and becoming the leader they want to be. So in that process, I became certified as an ICF credentialed coach and eventually went all the way to Master Certified Coach, which means I’ve spent a few thousand hours in conversation with leaders all around the world.
It really does come back to capacity building. Now I get to do that through my own business, Courageous Leaders. I’m also Director of Coach Development for the Center of Coaching Excellence. Those two things tie together—helping leaders have the kinds of conversations, internally and externally, that help them make an impact.
Mindy:
I love that. As you know, I’m an HR leader with almost 30 years of experience, and I feel like the ability to have a conversation that moves the needle and makes someone feel valued and respected is a key trait of a great leader. Having people like you coaching leaders in this is just such important work.
Carissa:
Sometimes conversation is almost viewed as something to get through in order to get to the “real” work. But it really is a mindset shift to realize: what if conversation is where the work actually happens? Conversation is central to everything that happens in business. When you take that perspective, it changes your approach to leadership and how you show up in conversations.
Mindy:
I love what you just said about conversation being intertwined with the work. That’s great. I’d love to hear how you define a capacity building conversation and why they are so essential in today’s workplace.
Carissa:
What we don’t realize is that every conversation has a neurochemical response happening in the brain. Those responses either signal trust and safety—“I can navigate this”—or threat and fear—“I need to withdraw.” In a business context, our conversations literally impact the capacity of the business by either causing more trust and engagement or leading people to hold back and disengage.
You hear about people being in fight, flight, freeze, or appease mode—saying only what they think will be approved. When people are in that mode, they’re not going to contribute in a way that’s beneficial to the business.
Capacity building conversations are about interacting with trust, curiosity, and authenticity. That kind of interaction allows people to share ideas freely. They aren’t wondering, “Is the hammer going to fall?” It creates safety and helps people find what’s possible. That’s so important today because there’s a lot of uncertainty, and people often feel stuck. These conversations allow space to pause and think through the path forward.
Mindy:
Yes! I recently did an episode on effective one-on-one meetings, and this really ties into that. When someone’s in a conversation with their supervisor or partner, it’s so important that trust is there. If people are on guard, unsure of what to say or how they’ll be perceived, the quality of the conversation is jeopardized.
Carissa:
Exactly. That trust and safety can even be demonstrated in small aspects of conversation. For example, asking, “When is the project going to be delivered?” can feel like judgment. But if you ask, “What’s your perspective on the status of the project?” it invites ownership and creates a collaborative tone instead of one of evaluation.
Mindy:
Absolutely. What do you think keeps leaders from having these types of conversations? What are some of the barriers?
Carissa:
There are a couple of things. The most common one I hear is time. Leaders are so busy getting things done, they wonder how to fit in these connection points. But often there’s something deeper—uncertainty about how to approach a conversation in a way that builds trust and connection rather than just being transactional.
And that’s a myth—that effective communication has to take a lot of time. When you’re operating from trust, connection, and curiosity, the conversation can be both meaningful and efficient.
Mindy:
Do you teach a framework that helps leaders approach this more easily?
Carissa:
It really comes back to the values we operate from as leaders. When I train leaders in communication skills, it starts with believing the best about others and being genuinely interested in their growth. It’s about being in an exploratory mode, not just a telling mode. Bottom line: approach people with honor, dignity, and respect.
We’ve lost some of the humanity in how we interact. Even in a difficult conversation, if your starting point is “How can I treat this person with honor and respect?” it changes the tone. You see them as a human being with strengths, needs, and desires—and that leads to working together toward the best outcome.
Mindy:
So how do you recommend leaders balance empathy with accountability?
Carissa:
That’s such an important question. Leaders have a dual role—representing the organization and its expectations, while also supporting individuals. Empathy is foundational. In Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss talks about “tactical empathy”—empathy that helps get the brain out of fight-or-flight mode so you can actually work together.
Sometimes just saying, “This is a lot you’ve been carrying,” gives the person space to feel seen. That shift alone opens the door to navigating the situation more productively. But accountability is also essential. Every person is responsible for their choices. Leaders can say, “What do you see as your options here?” Staying curious allows the individual to own their next steps and think strategically.
Mindy:
I love that. Asking for their input builds trust too, right? It’s not just the leader doing all the talking, but really engaging the employee in meaningful dialogue.
Can you share a real-world example of a leader you've worked with who shifted from struggling with conversations to becoming a more capacity-building leader?
Carissa:
Yes. One that comes to mind is a project manager in a multi-billion-dollar construction organization. When we started working together, he said, “I don’t know if I’m cut out for leadership. I came from the other side of the tracks.” He was stressed out, hovering over every project detail, feeling like it was all on his shoulders.
As he learned to ask his team questions like, “What do you see as the major challenges on this job?” it shifted the dynamic. It allowed his team leaders to take ownership and manage their own pieces of the work. He stepped back and became more strategic because they knew he believed in them. They started bringing him the big stuff—and handled the rest themselves.
Mindy:
That’s such a great example. I think many leaders carry the belief that it all falls on their shoulders. But when they lead through their people, the burden eases and connections deepen.
You talk a lot about transformational leadership. How do you define it?
Carissa:
Transformational leadership is both personal and organizational. On a personal level, it’s an inside job. It’s about developing the self-awareness and emotional intelligence needed to lead through uncertainty and inspire others. The internal world of the leader directly impacts their effectiveness.
On the organizational level, it’s about creating a shared vision and empowering people to contribute to it. Unlike the old top-down model, transformational leadership is collaborative and authentic. It’s about co-creating something meaningful and believing in your people’s ability to help make it happen.
Mindy:
Carissa, in what ways do capacity building conversations contribute to transformational leadership? Can one exist without the other?
Carissa:
They really go hand in hand. Without capacity building conversations, leadership becomes all tell and sell—just directing people. Capacity building conversations empower people to make discoveries for themselves. That’s what allows them to show up at their best.
Transformational leadership affirms what’s going well and helps cultivate more of it. And that only happens when leaders make space for people to think, speak, and grow within the organization.
Mindy:
Yes! I’m a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, and it’s rooted in positive psychology. As I listen to you, I hear so much overlap. Creating a positive culture that’s transformational really does start with what we focus on in our conversations.
For leaders who want to create cultural change in their organizations, what patterns do you see that help or hinder that transformation?
Carissa:
It comes back to conversations. Conversations create culture. Think about how many conversations happen daily—from C-suite to sales to water cooler chats. If you use that as a barometer, you’ll see where the organization is headed and what’s being prioritized.
Culture change begins by becoming aware of your organizational values and how you're living them out day to day. Leaders set the tone. What they talk about, how they interact—that trickles down to shape the organization. And in times of disruption, values anchor the organization. Strategies may pivot, but values create safety and direction through the storm.
Mindy:
Absolutely. I was listening to a podcast recently where they said if you want to build a skyscraper business, you need a strong foundation. That’s what culture is. And culture exists from day one, whether you're a team of three or three hundred.
Let’s wrap with this. What would you say to emerging leaders who want to lead with courage but feel like they don’t have the title or authority to speak up?
Carissa:
Leadership isn’t about a title—it’s about making an influence for change. That can happen from any seat in the organization. Start by identifying your personal brand—what value do you bring? What are your strengths and contributions?
When you’re clear on who you are, you can speak from that place. You may not have as much experience as others, but your voice matters. Your lens and your role give you a unique perspective that can benefit the organization. These conversation skills we’ve talked about? They apply at every level.
Mindy:
Yes! John Maxwell talks about 360-degree leadership—leading yourself, your peers, leading up, and leading down. It’s not about having direct reports. It starts way before that. Carissa, I appreciate your time and expertise on this important topic.
Before we go, can you tell us a bit about your organization, the types of clients you serve, and how people can connect with you?
Carissa:
Courageous Leaders is all about developing leadership capacity. We work mostly with mid to senior-level leaders—those who’ve already been successful and are looking to grow. Maybe they’ve just been promoted and are asking, “How do I become the leader who creates an engaged, aligned team?”
We offer executive coaching, communication training, and workshops on how to incorporate coaching skills into leadership. Not everyone will become a certified coach, but every leader can lead with a coaching mindset.
You can find me at courageousleaderscoaching.com, or connect with me on LinkedIn. I share tips there regularly. And if you're interested in communication and coach training, check out centerforcoachingexcellence.com. We offer trainings throughout the year.
Mindy:
Thank you so much. One of the best things about hosting this podcast is that I learn from every guest, and this was no exception. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review—it helps more people find this content. Thanks for tuning in to The People Success Circle. See you next time!
